Have you ever watched a professional potter trim a piece they are working on? They very meticulously trim away the rough edges. They have to put just the right pressure on just the right spot, spin it with just the right speed, use just the right tool, all the while making sure the consistency of the clay is just right. There is great care taken when making a beautiful, workable piece of art. If any one of these elements are off by just a little, the pottery could fall apart, collapse or become so warped it cannot be used at all.
As a child of God, I am reminded that God knows exactly how to shave the rough edges off of me through the process of sanctification. In my life, God uses my role as a mother to reveal my rough edges—sin in my heart. Sometimes, I don't even realize sin exists until God starts working to smooth those rough spots, revealing and convicting me. God has revealed the "un-dealt with" sin in my life through parenthood in two ways: first, by using my children to keep me from the sin that I am easily prone to, and second, by using my children to reflect what sins maybe lingering in my heart—as they reflect me. In my introduction to this series on parenting, I mentioned 1 Thessalonians 4:3, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification...". We know that sanctification, which is our holiness, is important and we understand that the manner in which we walk is vital. And we know that our sin should be taken seriously. Verse four of the same passage says, "...that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,..." This word vessel reminds us that we are weak, dependent instruments used by God, who need reminding over and over again that we are "to walk and please Him." (1 Thess. 4:1) Paul uses the word "walk" to refer to our manner of conduct and living—how we conduct ourselves. Because I am a weak vessel and often lose my focus, God reveals my rough edges, or my sin to help me remember my priorities. God knows my sin and He knows my struggles. He wants me to have victory over my sin, to live victoriously, that's why He sent His Son, Jesus, as a payment for my sin. But He knows that even as a believer I will continue to struggle in my flesh, with the rough edges on a daily basis. Here is where I believe God uses my children to keep me from sin that I am prone to commit.
I will give you an example from my life. When my daughter was born, I had grand and "perfect" ideas of how good a mom I would be. I always had loved working with children and I was told that I was good with them. So, in my mind, I didn't see that raising a child would be any different. Boy, was I wrong! From the first day my daughter entered the world I was introduced to one new challenge after another, things that I had never even fathomed before. My pride has been and is a real struggle. I am prone to be proud and revel in my accomplishments. If, when my daughter was born, I had all the answers and could train her perfectly then, I would be boastful and proud. I believe God uses my children to help keep me from pride by showing me I don't have all the answers. He reveals that I am that weak vessel I referred to earlier and that I have a great need for Him. I am made strong in my weakness through Him. I am reassured that God works in this way when reading Paul's account of his own testimony to the Corinthian church in 2 Corinthians 12. Paul says, "because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh...(emphasis mine)" He goes on to say that he'd rather boast about his weakness so that Christ's power may be seen in him. The same is true for me. I believe God gives me the parenting challenges that I have with my children so that I won't boast in my strength, in my own wisdom. He doesn't want me to fall into the sin of exalting myself—pride—and leave Him out of the equation. There are many ways that this could be true in your life, pride is just an example in mine. Look for ways God maybe using your children to keep you from sin. Secondly, as I said, I believe God also reveals my rough edges, or convicts me of my sin, through using my children to reflect me. When you look in a mirror you can see everything good and unfortunately, everything bad about yourself. Your children, in the same way, watch how you respond to situations and formulate how they should respond, therein reflecting your behavior. Our children are reflections of us! I have found myself many times watching my children's behavior and the way they interact with others and I'm heartbroken because I realize that they have learned from me and the sin that I have imparted to them. It is here, in these situations, that God uses our children to reveal our weaknesses and to beckon us to evaluate ourselves and repent of any sin that is lingering in our hearts and lives. Here, He calls us not only to be aware of our need for Him, but also to allow Him to truly be the LORD over our lives, wherein we die to self.
In James 1:21 He tells us, "Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls." This verse calls us to stay rooted in God's word by abandoning sin. We must know and live the truth personally if we wish to impart to our children and correct the sinful things that we've passed on to them. I see an example of this when my oldest speaks harshly with her younger siblings. I immediately recognize that she has watched me, in my moments of reactionary anger, speak in a way that does not honor God nor edify Him. When this happens, I must stop right then and correct this behavior in myself and in her. Proverbs 15:1 says,"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.". I've got to repent and put this type of living aside in my own life and teach my child to do the same, I need to ask her to forgive me for teaching her that this behavior is acceptable. I have to combat this sin with Scripture. However, if I'm not in the Word I won't know how to combat these situations when they arise. I am challenged to actually do something and put forth effort in studying Scripture.
God's Word is perfect and good and is the guidebook for life, for EVERY situation or problem. We must commit to read it, study it, meditate on it, so God can shave off those rough edges and use us for His glory. Parenting is hard, but I am so grateful God uses it to grow me in this journey of sanctification to become more like Him.
About the Author
Katy Crisp has a Master of Divinity degree with a Missions Concentration from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. She desires to serve the Lord and honor Him above all else as she lives out her calling to be a wife to her husband, Michael and a mother to their four beautiful children. She enjoys any type of craft, a cup of coffee with good conversation, cleaning and traveling.