I love reading in the Old Testament about the children of Israel and their journey to the promised land. When they had a need, God met it. When they needed protection, God protected. When they were hungry, God fed them. When they messed up, God was there to fix it. When they complained, God had a solution. When they did what was right in their own eyes, God justly loved.
God's compassion and long-suffering are a central theme within the story of the Israelite people. I am completely overwhelmed by God's character as I read through the account and I'm challenged to love like He loves. As parents we try to provide what is best for our children. I know I personally fall short over and over again when it comes to showing compassion and long-suffering to my children. It is extremely hard for me! To display compassion, forgiveness and patience to my children when they argue with me, do the very opposite of what I ask of them, or throw a temper tantrum when they don't get what they want is beyond difficult: Some days it seems impossible! When my children display this type of behavior, revealing what is in their hearts, I can't help but reflect on how God feels about my disobedience to Him (or my inward "temper tantrum" when I don't get what I want). Does He want to get mad and angry and lash out on me? Does He want to ignore me? Does He even want to claim me as His? I believe God uses my children's negative behavior to help me reflect on my behavior towards Him, revealing His holy and perfect character.
To answer my own questions, I have to go to God's Word to see what He says about who He is. Nehemiah 9 gives us a great recap of the history of the children of Israel and reveals a multitude of God's characteristics. I encourage you to read all of chapter nine, but I want to mention two characteristics to help us understand how God views us, His children, when we are arrogant, stubborn, and disobedient.
He is Just
In verses 26-27 we are told that the children of Israel "became disobedient and rebelled," they "cast (God's) law behind their backs," they did not receive the admonition from the Lord through the prophets but killed them, and committed blasphemy. Because of their actions, God delivered them into the hand of their oppressors. You may be thinking, “That isn't fair or just! Isn't God a loving God?” Yes, He is a just, loving, and compassionate God.
He is Compassionate and Loving
Oh, What peace this part brings! The rest of verse 27 says, "But when they cried to You in the time of their distress, You heard from heaven, and according to Your great compassion You gave them deliverers who delivered them from the hand of their oppressors." Do you see it?! God justly allowed them to go their own way and they got a "spiritual" spanking in hopes that their hearts would be broken over their sin and that they would turn back to God, confessing their need for Him. Did it work? Yes. Did it make them perfect? No. In fact, they continued a bad cycle of turning away, oppression, turning back to God, turning away, oppression, turning back to God. In spite of all of the turning away, we see this beautiful picture of how gracious and compassionate God is in verse 31, "Nevertheless, in Your great compassion You did not make an end of them or forsake them, For You are a gracious and compassionate God."
In the same way, when I disobey, rebel, or turn my back on His law, and choose to follow my own ways, God justly loves me and allows me to reap the consequences of my sin that I have sown. My hope is that when I confess my sin and turn back to Him, He hears my cry and He RESPONDS with compassion and lavishes grace upon me that I do not deserve. That truth will humble you! Back to the world of parenting: learning how to display God's compassion, love, and grace is something that is only mastered in a hands-on classroom. It's not something we obtain by reading a textbook. When we ask God to help us love our children and show them compassion and grace when they are disobedient and hard-hearted, I believe He is there, ready and willing to offer His help but it's also the opportunity He uses to refine our hearts–to sanctify us. We have to check our hearts to make sure we have dealt with our sin first, then we must get to work, allowing the Spirit to fill us and produce fruit that will point our children to Christ. (Side note: I could write a whole post just on Galatians 5 here but we will save that for a rainy day, but if you have time read Galatians 5 and see how God's Spirit develops amazing fruit in our life if we follow Him.) I am humbled by the work that God has put in front of me, to raise my four children and that He chose to use them to sanctify me. I am equally humbled that God cares enough for me to scoop me up in His arms and support me when I am weak as I struggle in my heart with anger and pride as I do the work set before me. Just like the account with the children of Israel, He deals with me faithfully even when I act wickedly. My hope and prayer is that as we parent we will deal faithfully with our children, even when they act wickedly, in hopes of winning them to the Lord, and that God will continue to refine us in the process.
About the Author
Katy Crisp has a Master of Divinity degree with a Missions Concentration from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. She desires to serve the Lord and honor Him above all else as she lives out her calling to be a wife to her husband, Michael and a mother to their four beautiful children. She enjoys any type of craft, a cup of coffee with good conversation, cleaning and traveling.